I had to seize the opportunity to write. I'm fresh out of a eucalyptus, spearmint bath, still in a towel in fact (I know, saucy!) and I had to write down tonight's experience.
It was a very slow day at work (at Rock and Jade today) and ultimately, but unfortunately, the excitement for the day was what kind of fudge I was going to try next. Jeans are tight again already. Perhaps it will work in my favor. :)
I was feeling anxious, tired, and maybe a smidgeon stressed as my ex arrives in town tomorrow. I'm seeing him on Saturday. Maybe I'm more nervous and stressed than I thought. Nevertheless, I skyped with a very dear friend, someone who is my true kindred spirit, someone I connect with in the waking and sleeping life, someone I connect with on a spiritual level. The best, most rewarding kind of friendship. She's been studying how to do readings, meditation, etc.
She did a reading for me (several types actually) and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and the release of emotion hit me very quickly. She told me I had gotten through the worst and that I have been patient, and the road ahead will be much smoother. She told me my concerns about kids and marriage will be fulfilled, that my children are little innocent souls that will come to be, that I WILL have children. The funny thing was, all day today, the kids that came into the store made me long for my own so badly. An 11 day old baby made my heart shout with longing. They were on my mind a lot today and there's always that nagging feeling that I won't find someone who will give me that, something I know I will be a natural at. Being a mother is something I KNOW I was born to do. Amongst other amazing things of course. :)
She told me also that a new romance is on the horizon, someone new or someone I know through a friend. But, patience was key. Let life happen, enjoy this "incubation" period it was called. I'm crying just writing this...because I want these things so badly. I don't want the Porsche, the big house, the all inclusive vacations (however, a ladies week away is in the plans!), the material things that so many people are caught up in. Life is too short to worry about such silly things. For some reason, even when I am at my poorest, I have always had the belief that everything will be okay and that the Beatles were right, "All You Need Is Love".
I bought my first piece of gem/stone today; rose quartz. It is supposed to bring love to you and make you a more loving person. Not necessarily romantic love, just a surrounding love overall. It's going to sit on my windowsill, in the sunshine so it can project into the world just like the love and friendship I want to project into the world. You can call me crazy, you can call me a goody two shoes, but I am FIRM in my beliefs that all the above is true and will come to fruition. I've watched so many around me achieve happiness in their careers, love life and family....holy shit, it better be my turn NOW!
I have a feeling it will be worth the wait. :)
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